[It's like buying a new wagon for the dead mule to pull. But what do I know?]
Microsoft is no help, you can't even get on their site with IE 4.0 these days.
Firefox says it will run, but after bashing our heads against the error "oleaut32.dll:77" I ran a Google search and came up with this:
The problem indicates you do not have the complete OLEAUT32.dll file -Having nothing else to loose, we installed the Dcom update and were finally sucessfull running Firefox 2.0; which allowed us to access the Windows update site and install the remainder of the Win98 patches, including IE 6. Problem solved, out the door it goes.
either you're running Windows 95 or an older version of Windows98. Go
to Microsoft's website and download the DCOM upgrade package depending
on the version of Windows you have got (alternatively just search for
DCOM on Google or something) - the current link that I have is
Once you have run this update, this will update your OLEAUT32 dll for
you, and php should run without the error.
Never mind the system is worth less than the time we spent fixing it. Ah, the sweet taste of victory.